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Money talks, but all mine says is "goodbye'.
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Sorry for the mean awful yet accurate things I've said.
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Liquor it helps me tolerate you.
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Jesus touched my water
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SaleI saw that
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In dog drinks I've only had one.
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SaleIDK. IDC. IDGAF.
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I'm not responsible for what my face does when you're talking.
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I tried to be good, but I got bored.
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I like my dog and maybe two people.
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I like my cat and maybe two people.
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I ducking hate autocorrect.
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I drink to make you interesting
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I don't fart, I whisper in my panties.
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Home is where you can take your bra off.
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My stomach is flat, the "L" is silent.
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I don't think of you as a coworker, because you never do any work.
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Nothing brightens up the room like your absence.
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Light me when you FART
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To me 'drink responsibly' means don't spill it.
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